Subject: Bullying

Bullying is around us everywhere, in the work place, on the freeway at school, at home!
We all need to look deep within ourselves and start treating everyone (and I mean EVERYONE!) with respect.
I was bullied at work for many years by a sales manager (new homes) who threatened me every time she could with the fact that there were many people that wanted my job and I was easy to replace, also another one screamed at me for questioning a financing figure she had given me that was clearly wrong and instead of accepting that it was she screamed at me telling me I was stupid (when I had the figures correctly and hers were wrong). Also once, when I volunteered at an outdoor amphitheater in order to raise funds for our children’s school booster’s trip, parents and friends worked the concession stands and served food, drinks, etc. One of the parents was in charge of each booth and the general manager was very upset about recycling bottles in separate bins (by color) and instead of telling us all about this (they never gave us this specific info) he started screaming at this parent in front of all of us and in front of public that was starting to trickle in.  I for one couldn’t stand around and do nothing and I reacted immediately without thinking I went up to defend this other parent to the point of the general manager screaming at me and trying to intimidate me by getting very close to my face, but my adrenalin was so high that all he did was infuriate me more and I stood my ground, I got very close to getting hit by this man!  It was a show! all the regular employees were all congratulating me for standing up to him, apparently he did this to everyone.  This is why disgruntled employees come back and cause harm, when supervisors, managers and owners (or other people in charge) abuse their power and like to make the people below them feel small and afraid.
Businesses need to train their managers to communicate in a normal way without insults or aggression. Schools need to have ongoing training of their teachers and students about standing up for others even if they are different! 
At home how many times have parents screamed at their kids, when they are angry or tired from work or because they broke something by accident?
we have all at some time reacted in a way that we are not proud of, we all need to stop and think before we do this. Words are very important and we should never use “stupid, dumb, etc” against our children, friends or co workers.  I know it’s not easy but we need to all start to realize that we are teaching each other to be impatient, aggressive and intolerant of anything that doesn’t fit what we believe is right.  We let our kids behave badly and torture others because “boys will be boys”, “they are the comedians of the class room”, etc. And this is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Especially when you push someone that is not as strong or mentally stable as you or your child is, someone that may feel like they don’t fit in, because they are different and don’t fit what our current society says are acceptable standards (being thin, pretty, handsome, smart, popular, straight).  Instead we need to teach our kids to stand up for the ones being tortured every day if it’s safe, if it’s not safe to go and look for help, but to definitely act! not to turn the other way and look away because it’s not affecting them. We need to teach our kids (and adults) that it’s OK to be different and we all need to treat each other like we would want to be treated. No more suicides! No more violence! 
I can’t believe some churches and politicians stand on this about it being a gay issue only when it is clearly not one! I was bullied and I’m a straight mother of two wonderful young men and happily married for over 35 years!
Please come to the rally and vigil on Sunday October 17 from 6-7 at SD Unified school district Eugene Brucker Education center lawn, 4100 Normal St. SD 92103
Thank you,
Patti Boman
PFLAG SD co President
(619) 227-6092
 Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
 only light can do that.
 Hate cannot drive out hate;
 only love can do that.
 ~MLK Jr.